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Who am I? Who are you?! Get out of my garden and never darken my turnips again. But your impudence will find an answer: I was formerly Pope Wysiwyg XIV, but I chucked in that old business and got an upgrade. As soon as that fink Ratzinger passed the application, I was canonised to Saint Simian, the patron saint of evolution. My saint's day is whenever I damn well please, thus enabling me to get out of compulsory social events in the bat of an angelic white wing. If I'm especially tried I can have as many as 365 saint's days in a year. I've got all eternity, so I can call in as many as I like on credit. My good friend God is cool like that.
Now I understand some of you want to contact me. Very well, but it had better be good. The evolution business is taking off these days and I have a lot on my plate. You may, if you like, email me at the following address: simian@saintsimian.com |