Novels
The Life-Giving Waters of the Nazi Handkerchief (PDF) - It all begins with a banker in a shady bank and his customer from hell. It ends thousands of years earlier, but not before Mother Teresa crushes all civilisation, Al Gore saves the world from certain doom, and everybody dances the Macarena. A chilling tale of immortality, assassins, and soggy hankies. Not for the faint of mind.
Jimmy and the Magical Pants Lord (PDF) -
Everyone thought it would be simple for a vegetarian vampire to kidnap small children and meld them into one giant superbeing. No such luck. Jimmy - the hideous, blind creation of Barbara McSuckblood - is on the loose and heading for the Trouser people of the planet Pants. Barbara is in pursuit, but is being held back by socialite Madame van Scarf whose cucumbers have fused to her eyes. Finally Jimmy's collective parents (including but not limited to a porn star and a talking tea-pot) are following Jimmy's trail.
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